Tuesday, December 30, 2008

What defines me

This morning, I read with interest an article in the NY Times. Ben Stein writes with a truth that most others have completely ignored. The financial gurus claim the market will turn around. The Wall Street wizards lay low and the bankers say nothing. Mr. Stein has written in a way that enlightens, empowers, and informs. But most of all he reminds us that WE ARE NOT OUR INVESTMENTS. As he discussed the Bernard Madoff debacle, he shared how he chose to avoid that loss. As he discussed the Drexel Burnham Lambert junk bond woes of the 80's, he reminds us that history repeats itself when one does not learn from the past. As he discussed his investment past, he tells us that being 60 meant that he had a lot to remember. Mostly, he is saying to us that our net worth does not make us who we are. As I've been saying, this financial crisis is kind of leveling the playing field. Ben Stein writes:

We are more than our investments. We are more than the year-to-year or day-by-day changes in our net worth. We are what we do for charity. We are how we treat our family and friends. We are how we treat our dogs and cats. We are what we do for our community and our nation. If you had $100 million or $100,000 a year ago and now you have a lot less, you are still the same person. You are not a balance sheet, at least not one denominated in money, as was explained to me recently.

Losing and making money are not moral issues so long as you are being honest. You may have a lot less money as this year ends than you did two years ago. But you are just as good or bad a person as you were then. It is a myth that money determines who you are, and if you have gotten over that myth by now, then 2008 will have been a very good year.

Ben Stein is a lawyer, writer, actor and economist. He may as well be a philosopher. As the playing field is leveled, perhaps the power of heart shall become more valuable to us than the power of money and prestige. Perhaps.

IF

The last 6 months of Wall Street mayhem have torn us apart emotionally. On the surface, we hold tight. Underneath, our stomachs churn as we ponder5 what to do next. We wonder in silence how we will ever retire, cover various emergency costs, pay our bills, keep our jobs when everyone else seems to lose theres.

The governor in Chicago quoted a favorite poet of mine in his defense. But he left most of the poem out. His comments brought home to me my youthful passion and poise. I wanted this sense of being. Iwas deeply reminded of the goals laid forth in this poem. It's as good a reminder of how to deal with our Wall Street losses as it is how to deal with the loss of dreams or the betrayal by people whom we had held deep trust. If we can keep our heads, if we can rebuild our lifes, if we can keep our virtue, if we can keep our dreams....

If this, then that....and for me the then that is the beauty and the reason for keeping on.

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Change becomes a way of life

On my other blog, I wrote a nice piece about quitting smoking. I spoke of the intense personal process I used to forever change the habit. It worked so well that 16 years later, I still automatically use the technique when dealing with old triggers.
I used to be a skier. I would be pushing really hard, skiing hard and fast. I'd be in the lift line, waiting to jump on a chairlift. Suddenly, I had to light up. Didn't know why, but had to have one.
Some kind soul pointed out the trigger when they said to me: You know, you didn't really want one until you smelled someone else's smoke. How right he was.
So we went to the Snoqualmie Casino the other night to check it out. Rumor was the place stank of smoke. Rumor, as it happens, is confirmed. And the one restaurant deep inside which is smoke free claimed that the casino recycles their air every 20 minutes. That leaves 20 minutes of smoker's stale, stinky smoke. It was bad. I don't really care that they recycle their air. It still stinks.
But my point is that 16 years after I gave up the habit, it is harder and harder to be around smokers. I chose to quit and I don't want to inhale the smoke of someone else. I don't want to walk past someone as they exhale into my breathing space. I chose to quit.
It is inadvertent on their part, but it happens.
One of my old techniques to remind myself how glad i am that I freed myself of this habit kicked right back in. It's a simple technique, putting little fingers and thumbs together, but immediately, instead of being mad at the smokers, I fell into a space of " boy, I'm glad I don't do that anymore" ....
That space of being grateful for my own accomplishment (with help of God) is far more beneficial than being anything else. Keeping the focus on me means that I can allow you to do what you want.
Now, I won't go back there for a long time, if at all. But that is my choice. I've no reason to go.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Blogging..

Man, it used to be a simple journal that I wrote in every day. Three pages of hand written thought process that I never showed to anyone else. I might share in my women's group if some profound thought hit me. Blogging is not the same. So far, I'm not sure the difference in value between a web site and a blog, except that the website is static and self managed and hopefully self owned. A blog is kind of a public journal. You can add pictures, links, widgets, and you can easily change the layout. It's kind of like a dumbed down Front Page, which at one point offerred great promise and quickly faded into the ethers...
So why all this noise about blogging? Who cares what I think? Maybe it depends on what I think about what I think?
I starte this blog to find out what all the noise was about. I've found out that most serious entrepreneurs or sole proprietors use blogs to help self promote. But here's the thing: A website can do that and you have to drive traffic there too.
So...what's the deal?
Maybe the simple truth is the freedom to write down a random thought, share some editorial, or post a picture, and do it in a flash. This is really pretty easy. It is easier than WordPress. But...it's still not that big of a deal.
Or maybe it is....maybe its the next new marketing thing that kids used to do and now us adults stress over finding some profit motive behind it. Isn't that how fun things end up going out of style?
More later......

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Point

What is the point of going to a doctor? Usually, people go to find out what is wrong and what they can do to cure it. I focus on self care. I do whatever I can to help myself live a healthy and active lifestyle. I help others to do the same. What I learned from living this way is that most people who want healthful lives practice healthful living. Most people who really don't care, only practice healthful living when they get tired of feeling sick, lifeless or lethargic. Or they lay claim to wanting great health and then do nothing to get it. Simple changes are often all it takes to start feeling more vital. Less fat, less sugar, and a little movement maybe? I have little patience for those who won't get off their butts -- not when they've had the same lame excuses for years on end. Put up or shut up, folks!

Sadly, many western populations promote this foolhardy way of life. Many western medical doctors practically laugh at Naturopathic doctors, but the truth of it is the Naturopaths focus on prevention while the insurance driven medical doctors focus on stopping symptoms.

What is the point of this? I've lived for 36 years as a healthy living advocate who promotes self care, healthy eating, exercise, and above all, moderation. It's my passion. It's my thing. It was my Mom's thing. It was her Mom's thing. Exercise, fresh air, healthy fresh food including lots of fruits and vegetables, not too much red meat, and hardly any pork products such as ribs, bacon or ham. Sure, we are historically inclined to avoid cured meats, especially pork. But for health reasons, I stay away anyway. The curing process results in carcinogens.

I've spent the past 11 years caregiving for others. I'm NOT a nurse. I'm a healthy living advocate. The difference is I have this expectation that when people can do for themselves, they should. Rick likes to say that people bring on their own troubles. Well....it goes for their health too. Both of my parents lived extremely active, healthy lives. When their health declined, it was nothing that healthy living would have prevented. Dad ran up to 15 miles a week until he was 84. Mom was always proactive and got her share of exercise, right up until she was 89 or 90. It is really hard to accept that folks much younger seem so old and feeble. Especially when these folks could do something in their mature years to prevent their decline.

Enough nonsense. If I go to a doctor, I at least TRY what the doctor advised without blowing it off as nonsense. My shoulder is healing really well. The doc said that if I did exactly what he told me to do, I'd heal really well and faster than many. That means doing what he and his PT tell me to do. Amazing...do what they say and get the results they say I will... Who wudda thunk?

Many medical issues and complications are not this simple, I know. But why waste time and energy even going to the doc if you have no intention of doing what they say, and then want to whine about not getting better? If you are going to go, then at least try their advice. An open mind may help you restore the life you want to live, or even make it better. Its' all up to the individual.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

One Day at a Time

Friend,
The world is not coming to an end. No one is saying that it is. As I read the news, I'm often amazed, astounded and downright angry. How our so called leaders were able to lead us into this financial maelstrom is beyond me. It's nearly as infuriating as what happened in Germany so many years ago. Why smart folks like us didn't say STOP -- PROVE YOURSELF -- PROVE YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THINGS is beyond me. As Wall Street Crumbled, we sat back and said: Patience, this will turn around. As we laughed at John McCain stating that the fundamentals of our economy are strong, we never stood up to DO anything. We sat back and waited for Congress -- maybe sent an email here or there, but really just waited. Where is OUR VOICE?
Many wealthier than I said repeatedly, Have Patience., I have a hunch that this is about to turn around. They said this as they liquidated their investments. Interesting! As I said: Some wealthier than I. I did NOT say WISER. And definitely not always kinder.

Now Mr. Maddoff has admitted his guilt in the largest Ponzi scheme ever. Many wealthier than I were involved. How could they not have been? It stands to reason that if red flags waved as early as 10 years ago, and often, that other people had to know and be involved. There is NO WAY that ONE MAN can run a $50 Billion Ponzi Scheme for 10 years and do it ALONE.
Come on, people? This is obvious.

Note that I said "Many Wealthier than I" many times. Those same folks have held power positions in government, business and finance for decades.

Who do we trust? How do we get through this?

Faith, One Day at a Time. But more than that. Those who don't act, act out of fear late in the game. This is not just an angry rant, guys. This is your call to act. Let us all think of ways we can act to expect those in these self righteously arrogant positions are held to a high level of accountability. Every day! For me, it means checking things out. It means trusting my hunches, not the "hunch" of some other power broker.

I'm pissed. I'm disappointed. I'm still some days hopeful, but mostly focused on living one day at a time. I don't know if I'll recoup my losses. I don't know if we'll keep our jobs or maintain a strong level of clients. The only thing I do know is that every day I wake grateful to be alive, be loved, and be healthy. Adn every day, I wake not sure if I want to read the news.
So what I believe I can do is the same that we ALL can do. WE can read and educate ourselves. We can eliminate the midlle layers and invest on our own. We can do more than mere due diligence -- we can really read and learn about what we are investing. We do not need to rely on the promise of another not so objective party. We can take their advice, then go home and study.

There is no reason to blindly follow anyone. There is no room in my life for those kind of mistakes. Not any more. And you shouldn't either.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Going forward

We, at Ramblin Lamb Communications are capable of so much. It only takes intention, or so it seems. What we love is creatively sharing and showing. Our website is mainly photography. 
Our blog is about me ramblin forward. I'm not sure if I need a new blog, or a website, but shall explore this further this week. 
For now, my goals are to finalize our marketing materials. New business cards are essential. So is a good blog with articles that have some meaning. There is much debate about what service provider to use and whether to publish on a free one or paid.  A little research is all that is needed. Then there is a current topic about pricing or working for free.  I say that all spec work is essentially for free. It's a risk, but it gives me the way to write and develop ideas and see if someone wants to publish.  That is far more satisfying that writing assignments and essentially parroting what a client wants.  Whatever....clients provide good insight and I've learned much about strategy. Still, freedom of voice is rather tasty. 
So our marketing plan is still in the works. Research is necessary, but I am thinking I need not over engineer this. The blog on Google is not bad at all.  I'm already here!  So a bit of research is ok, and information is out there.  I get distracted with all kinds of other things like my AWAI class or the photo business. Faith? 
As the current economic climate is devastating, I can't even read the news. What was the way to manage finances seems archaic now even though I don't have a better solution. YET.  Maybe the old fashioned way of investing in MYSELF and MY BUSINESS is a smarter way to go. More on that later.  

Deception Pass Dash 2008

I thought I'd kicked the habit. I really did. So many years of not having it. So many times I've said to myself that I just don't need it any more. Dang....it just isn't true. 
I'M STILL AN ADRENALINE JUNKY! 
Ok, the first step is to admit I have a problem. But I'm not powerless over it -- or am I? 

The 2008 Deception Pass Dash was an absolute blast. We arrived at Bowman Bay at 7 AM. It was dark. No one was there except for the race coordinators. We stood around and scouted the site. 
3 photographers with quality gear awaited a fantastic day of activity, athleticism, comraderie, and good old fun. 

Rick went to the Bridge. Sean went to the point. And I had the  best job of all. I was out on one of the rescue boats. So the guys got more and better images. I got a few great shots, but the rocking and rolling of 3 - 6 foot swells, keeping an eye out for paddlers in trouble, and holding on so I didn't bounce off the boat meant that my shutter didn't get as much use. 

The race began at 10, but the safety crew went out earlier. I was able to capture the starting line up, and then we waited. We were the sweep crew, so we made sure that no one was left behind. 
As I come down off my adrenaline high, I know this was a day for awakening the spirit within. Who says I need to be miss mellow, laid back all the time. As we sift through 1300 or more images, I know I've found my calling. 
I need a couple miracles. Some way to make a real living doing this kind of thing. Some way to stay in the flow of this energy.  Yes.....nothing is for free, but I'll continue to do this race as a gift back to those who've carried me forward. 

On and on....ramblin on....

Monday, December 8, 2008

Deception Pass Dash

The 3rd Annual Deception Pass Dash was a spectacular race filled with a variety of racers at different levels, winds, waves and swells. The Ramblin Lamb Photo team was in full force, bringing in support from another colleage. In all, we have 23 G of images to sort through. We are processing now and will submit to our colleagues and customers asap.
Rick was staged on the bridge over the pass, Sean Watson was staged on the point, and they captured the most shots. For me, it was quite a different ride. I was out on the safety boat riding the waves with the rescue patrol. I shot less than 3 G, but had a hell of a great time. Rocking and rolling over some 8 ft swells generated some hoots and hollers from those in our boat. It was hard to shoot, but we got them what they wanted. I captured the start up shot of over 140 kayakers lined up to race! I captured a couple surfing some whirling waves. I captured a few hard working paddlers. And I captured Bucky trying his galant hand at a surf ski in rough chop after we rescued the owner of the surf ski. That proves to me that I have no real interest in that type of kayak.

It's so much fun to do stuff we love. I haven't had so much fun in what feels like years. I can't wait until next year's event.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Alzheimers and my Mom

The 36 hour day:
I just read an article on CNN telling folks how to deal with Alzheimer's patients at the holidays. Maybe I need to write up my experience. It's not so easy to deal with as what they printed. I'm tempted to send my story somewhere, but want anonymity if I do.
Mom knew
My dear mother passed away this year. I miss her -- but I am relieved that this dreadful disease no longer haunts us. It's funny -- my brother and I had different experiences. He and Stacy reported a smiling, happy woman. Especially at the end, they saw a completely different Mom. He didn't see the anger, the confusion, the conflicting emotions and conflicting memories. They didn't see the violence in the hospital -- this sweet little woman thrashing out, threatening to kill people. She was so scared, but the infection made her crazy. Nothing could have prepared anyone for this.
The Changeling
Earlier in this progression, I would visit and find Mom changeable. She could go from happy to sad in a heartbeat. Usually she was an unsettled woman. It wasn't' that she didn't recognize me. She always knew I was there to see her. She just couldn't really know if I was her sister, daughter or niece. Maybe she thought I was her granddaughter. Even if she knew my name, she wasn't always straight about how I became a part of the family. She asked me every visit how I became part of this clan.
Travel the Seven Seas
She always thought she was traveling. I'd come to visit and there she was, packed and ready to go. She'd want to change flights and leave early. Didn't like the hotel. Didn't like the other guests.
She forgot the years she cared for Dad. It was agony hearing Mom say she should have been there for him and shouldn't have let him kill himself. HE DIDN'T! It was hard to hear her say that he left her and she was a divorcee. None of this happened, but she didn't really know it. She grieved as if it was real and if I said otherwise, she didn't believe me. So she went through a strange grieving process and took little comfort. These emotions would be hard for anyone. One thing that was true, when she said she wanted to die, she really meant it. She knew what was going on. She knew it as it happened and it drove her nuts.

Sunset not so nice It was hard to bring her home after dinner. That is when the disease had the most control.
Mom did this sunsetter thing where she was worse as the days got darker.

Whatever she thought, it was as painful for me as it was for her. Well meaning folks would say: She wont' remember later, don't worry about it. That just isn't true: Mom would run the same play through her head on a daily basis; she would put herself through agony feeling the normal feelings of someone who suffered the painful emotions of loss even though she did not suffer those losses.
I couldn't bear to look at the stress on her face as she tried to sort things out. Mom was an intelligent woman. Mom was smart and sharp until the last few years. So one of my last visits, I sat and gazed with love at my Mom. She had pneumonia. She had an oxygen tube. As she ate, she noticed me looking at her and snapped at me: "Stop looking at me like I'm a freak!" I wasn't. I told her I was looking at her with love, but her comment tore through me like a saw. (still hurts now) Today, I think it was Mom saying she knew what she looked like and didn't like it. The lady was going away. The one always dressed to the nine's was not there. Ah, it was awful. And she knew it.
There was some good in this:
My mothers mind was gone. But she would squeal with delight when I walked in to the room. Later, the irritability came on strong if she didn't like something or someone. On lucid days, we had fun. On lucid days, we shared love and laughter, and enjoyed many peaceful, loving moments. We bonded well during those visits.
Gratitude
I'm grateful for these years, but will always feel I didn't do enough. I know it's a useless emotion. Still, it's there. I needed some sort of life too. I couldn't do more than I did.
But the good is that I kept going back. Mom and I had a rocky relationship basically because she loved me and was so worried all the time. Day by day, one visit at a time was all I could do. But her final years were mixed blessings.
A toast to MOM
Thanksgiving was always yours. And each year I remember the love that went into your feasts. You did good, Mom! This year, go do it again. Be with your sisters, your Mom and Dad and your sweet Stanley. Be at peace. WE MISS YOU, MOM! But we love you and we go on!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Sweet Success

It's been mighty busy in the Lamb Family of Businesses this week. I haven't had this much fun selling since my days selling those alpha numeric pagers and competing in that high volume telecommunications environment. It is a joy to serve. It is a joy to talk with folks about what we do to serve their business or professional needs with photography or communications. The nice thing is we can do business with folks we already like. There are not many we dislike, don't get me wrong. But surely we've all had some folks cross our paths that we would rather not deal with.

Our latest shoots are now on our web site for the Dennison International Motor Sports Garage tour. These images will be used by our local BMW chapter's magazine, and by the Dennison's for their new website upgrade. You can see these fine autos on our website by clicking here. Whle you are at it, take a look at our galleries. Coming shoots will include the 2009 Deception Pass Dash on 12.8.

IF that wasn't enough to boost our ego's, we are overjoyed to learn that our images are shown on Murray Franklyn home's Ridgestone plat. Here they are:

And we got some practice shooting video yesterday out at Fir Island. The snow geese were too far from our site to get any decent shots so I started playing with the video camera on my G9. The 24x zoom is amazing. Most of the images were more than slightly soft, but I was just playing around and trying keep busy. I have a few scenes of the birdies taking off and flying around in a circle. Maybe we'll post that here.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Cars

What is the matter with me? I've become excited about vintage cars. Beautiful, shiny, fully restored vintage cars. I go to car shows. We bring camera gear, and Rick and I shoot detail shots, full body shots, and basically drool over these cars. They are beautiful specimens. What's worse? Today, I went to Butch Dennison's garage with the car club. I not only drooled over some great restoration projects, but I talked with Butch and his wife, Nancy, to drum up some photography business.
I got all excited about these cars. I dreamed of driving that Porsche Spyder -- a sweet 1955 model that just screamed: Get in me and DRIVE FAST.

So yeah, what is the matter with me? I'm becoming enamored of vintage cars. It's not like me. I see an investment someday. This is nut. I've got way more important things to do. Writing up the content for our website is one thing. Getting our marketing materials put together. But no, I'm sitting here watching a televised vintage car auction on tv. I shall give in..this is really fun.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

What to do when I grow up?

What a wonderful day. I'm feeling happy, joyous and free. It is so wonderful to have this election behind us. It is amazing to know that our beloved country stood strong for a candidate who promised hope, proved strong, and portrayed calm. I sense that Barack Obama will give us a sense of unity not felt for many decades. He can bring us together to fight through the muck to a better USA.

So why is my title "What to do when I grow up?" Perhaps I could have said IF I grow up. And that begs the question "What does GROW UP! really mean? Does it depend on who says it or why? Doesn't it depend on how I feel about myself? I don't feel like a child, so I think I already am grown up. I better be at my age!

Here is the deal - My Financial Advisor today said "You don't know what you want to do when you grow up." He called today and asked me what I want to do, without giving any advice, information or anything. He just jumped in and thought I should buy, but didn't even say buy what! I had to ask! But he has no clue how he contradicts himself. I'm not stuck, but I've no better option right now. Who is he to say I don't know what to do with my career. He barely knows me. I've been doing same line of work since 2000 or earlier. I have a trade. I craft words together, put presentations and documents together, manage content and manage schedules. I have many titles,a nice list of clients, and happen to be in between contracts. Still, this is what I do.

But I wonder how that is in his realm of service? He also told me that half his job is psychologist --- which is fascinating as he rarely listens to me during a call. He's too busy talking. As the market tumbled he called, had lots of visual scenarios that MIGHT happen, but never let me say much of anything. He contradicts himself just like an ex VP candidate. He thinks he is listening, but he is talking and so busy selling his ideology that he gives no concrete facts from which I can base a decision.

Isn't it more "Grown Up" to refrain from lashing out? Isn't it more 'Grown Up" to calmly wait for the opportunity to ask my question, and quietly recognize that he is contradicting himself?

See, I believe that 'growing up' means learning to take life on lifes's terms, not trying to make all people be like me or to make all people even like me. I believe that 'growing up' is not about deciding a career, getting rich or powerful, or having lot's of money. Growing up is about self love, self acceptance and self realization.

What I saw in the election is what I believe in my life. Treating others with respect is what wins.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Word Press

I wonder if wordpress blog servers are any better than this? they look more professional.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Music and Nature

On a website production site, the question was posed: What is your favorite music to shoot images by?  I'd never thought about it, but why not?  Truly music motivates, moves, spurs creativity. The universal sound of music is the universal language. I did not make that up. It just is.  So why I never before thought to shoot to tunes is beyond me? Technicals?  
You know, it could be simply that I want to BE in nature and listen to the musical sounds of nature.
So many rivers have been crossed, so many more to go. As life reminds me that there is no permanence, I am equally reminded of the many blessings I've known (or even not recognized until later) 
What is your favorite music? What do you listen to to pick you up, wind you down, help you move through and forward?  What makes it work? Is it the words or the beat?  The beat....
More later.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Water off Alki point -- image above

You know, I know it's not a perfect shot. It's soft. It lacks detail.
For me, it is packed with emotion and that's why I posted it. It just fits.
The story behind it is simple. We went to do a Sunset shoot a few years ago. It was a nice day and we had no real plans. Just took our gear, had a beverage and waited for the sunset. It wasn't a great one. It was slow in coming and with few clouds, there wasn't much to focus on.
As the evening came to a close, we turned west. This dreamy shot appeals to me as it would the romanticist looking for calm waters. Like I said, it just works. And what's great is it's MINE!

Healing

Sure, in the 90's we all focused on spiritual healing. We talked. We went to self help groups, often with a 12 step focus. We did the "support group" thang. Many went to the Course in Miracles, joined spiritual study groups, while others did pricey self help groups often considered cults. All of these things really taught the same thing! We told our story, we shared our experience, strength, and hope. We listened to yours! We learned to be, do and have, in that order. Be where you are, practice honesty, practice being true to yourself and others, and clean up your past. Make amends. Make good on past mistakes, pay past bills, settle old accounts. Finish unfinished business on all levels. Talk things out. Journal.....Healing was a lot of mental or emotional work. Was it ever WORK! It was exhausting but necessary.

I titled today's blog Healing and wondered at how much has changed. Today, healing is much more simplified. I fell, I injured my shoulder. I had the required surgery. I have a long healing process before I can use my right arm. Healing! Heck, stirring a large glass of tea too fast can cause pain. Pulling blankets over me after my beloved has rolled over and took them with him can be a total pain. I can't use my right arm to do this, so I must literally get out of bed to reach over with my left! NUTS! But it's easy compared to the "healing work" that the teachers challenged us with. It's easy compared to the gut wrenching moral inventories that shook me to the core. It's nothing compared to growing up! I get to sit and relax and learn new things, play with new tools, figure out creative ways to work with my left hand. The joy of being able to slice with a sharp knife was almost funny. Equally funny was splatting a large spoonful of dressing all over the counter. By the time I am really healed, I'll also be ambidextrous. That is really good in a kitchen designed for a lefty.

Healing can take on many facets. The physical is the easy one in many respects. I am grateful for all the work I've done on my Psyche, but still find patience is key to any real healing. Patience comes and goes.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Cats

Well, this neighborhood cat has adopted us. Oh joy! I'm allergic. He's a very sweet but also noisy critter. He meows constantly for attention. I'm not sure what to make of this guy.
I do hope my allergies can go away. Anyone out there want a black and white kitty?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

There are Bears out here!

I almost forgot! BEARS really are out here! Hah! I went for a long walk in the woods the other day. It was peaceful, serene and much needed. I went the long way that takes me down hill for about a half hour and then up hill for another half. At that point, I'm 2/3 of the way and I hear noises smashing and crashing through the brush above me.
Oh MY GOD!~ Yeah, it was a bear cub about 10 - 15 feet above me and off to the left. Where was Mama and the other cub? No where I could see or hear, but OH CRAP! I was out there with no communication devices, no sticks, and my right arm in a big fat sling! I turned around and walked fast the other way, hoping that they never really saw me. I don't think they did, but I also knew that my exit to the housing development above was blocked. Unless I wanted to cross their path, I had no choice but to turn around.
I turned around and made noise~! I started yelling, then singing, then calling out for other humans as I beat feet back the other way. Oh my! I saw a couple joggers heading up that way. Warned them, and they continued on for a few feet. Hah! They turned around and went back the way they came too.
It was a lot of excitement for this recovering adventurist!

Good days, bad days...

Just as we blasted forward, life gave us a small set back. Just before we did the shoot at Solstice, I took a header smack into some pavement. I fell off the road, literally. After the blood dried and the cuts and scrapes healed, I still had to contend with a torn rotator cuff. It turns out the only way to regain and maintain full use of my shoulder is surgery. And if I don't do that, the results will be a life of physical limitation. Of course, as fate would have it, I injured my right arm and of course, I am a righty.

Surgery recovery sucks. For 12 days, I felt ok but needed pain meds at night and sometimes during the day. The meds prescribed make me testy!!!! Just ask Rick! I've felt rather negative the last few days. Anyway, last night I used none and today I hurt. Plus I didn't sleep. But I am feeling more positive and real today. Yay! I was also reminded to seek the source of my irritation and make amends . Ah, the root cause is identified and I am on better ground.

A once positive and spirited lady awaits the recovery point where I can be happy and pain free again. I'll be able to work with grace. I'll actually sit at my keyboard and type without pain. For now, I need some more ice. :(

Friends, it could be so much worse that I know I am truly blessed with an easy solution. Rest, Reflect, recover, rebuild. Delays are not denials. I need not fear that all is lost. Actually, everything is still in motion. Delays are not denials and there is no such thing as failure -- only feedback. Forward, at whatever rate, is still forward.

Monday, August 25, 2008

New business...

Way to go! The Lamb's won the hearts of our newest clients, the good folks at the Solstice Spa in Leavenworth. They say they loved working with us. We were tired, but sure enjoyed the work. I'm so glad it came together so smoothly. I'm sure our business outlook just gained momentum. We connected with 3 Realtors in our area, one of whom is the broker for the Cascade team.
I am so happy. I get to do the marketing and business management. Rick is the camera guy for most of these shoots. I'll back him up, but our team approach is to let him be the camera guy. It's falling together nicely. Now we move into an interesting period.
Following through on the marketing, our approach and our methodology will be processed into a flexible mold. Then we go on the road.
It's really nice and casual to chat with Realtors and just be me. If they are interested we know. For now, we are moving forward gracefully.

good and bad

So we are doing great. Surviving the last run to the ER and feeling grateful for life right now, we are also quite frustrated. In the meantime, our geeky house has invited in some new toys. I'm playing with this mac and totally unsure if I'll love it like I plan to. Maybe that is what love is about -- a decision!
Anyway, my keyboard died so I found a cool new one. Rick saw it and got the "me too!s" so we got him one. Then we got stupid and bought video cameras for our desktops. Blaahh...yuk! Its the way of the world so we may as well get ahead of the pack.

Fearful about my shoulder, I've proven over and over that I'll need to do the surgery. The more I know, the less excited I am. But it must be done.

Life is good.